Happy Mindful Holidays

It's the most wonderful time of the year… Until it's not.

For many, the upcoming holiday season is a gaping reminder of the hole in your life because someone you love has crossed over into the land of the ancestors. There is a part of you that enjoys the "holly and jolly" that usually engulfs our culture from November 1-January 2 of the following year. The other part of you is desperately wishing that you could turn back the hands of time and get a do-over for that time when you didn't go home because you thought that you would have plenty of time to spend another holiday season with your loved One. Or it may be regret at the things said or left unsaid. I, too, understand this feeling and have experienced its dichotomy every year for the past thirty years. During the first 28 years since my mother passed, my father was still here. Twenty-eight is not thirty. The last two years have been without my dad.

Mindfulness has helped me navigate the happy/sad pendulum that swings our emotions during the holidays. Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. Mindfulness encourages rejecting the tendency to label situations and activities as "good" or "bad ."Instead, mindfulness enables us to be present in the moment. To be present in the moment is more than physical proximity. It is engaging your five senses in the moment that you are in. What are the sights and sounds and smells and tastes around you? Is there anything to be gained by engaging with Cousin Clarence, who is mostly quiet and usually sits on the edge of all the activity? What about the kids and the music they listen to? What they're listening to may have a question that they may want an answer to. What can you find that can ground you in the moment you are in? This is just the way I have learned to navigate the holidays. Find a way that works for you.

The website Green is the New Black offers ten tips on practicing mindfulness during this holiday season.

Cultivate an attitude of Gratitude. As believers, we already know how an attitude of Gratitude can enhance our lives on a regular day. During the holidays, when we make our lists and check them twice, don't forget to look back over your life and think things over. When you do this, you can say, "The Lord has been kind." Gratitude reminds us of our bounteous blessings.

Celebrate the Joy of Giving. I know that we give on the holidays. Some of us give ourselves right into bankruptcy. But what if you give of yourself and not of your substance? What would that look like for you? Who would you help? How would you help them?
Power Off. Put the devices down and give some face time to the people around you, not those not there. The latest trend will still be trending after you have fully engaged in the present. (What a gift!)

Take some time for Reflection. Because the holiday emotional pendulum does swing back and forth, please don't deny yourself the opportunity to reflect on how it used to be. Don't remain in that reflective place until it starts interfering with your present in the moment you are in. Don't let Reflection lead you to "shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Quality Time Over Quantity Time. The amount of time you spend engaging during the holidays is less significant than the quality of the time spent engaging in activities and with people. Choose activities that enhance your overall experience of the holidays. Sing with your children/grandchildren. Make Cookies. Tell Stories about the holidays that you remember. Share time and space with the people who matter to you without a specific expectation. Allow the moments to develop organically.

Communicate Mindfully. Mindful communication involves being fully present, listening actively, and expressing yourself with empathy. As you engage in conversations during holiday gatherings, practice mindful communication by giving your full attention to the speaker, speaking with intention, and being aware of your body language.

Establish Mindful Routines. We all know that holidays can be chaotic.

Establishing mindful morning and evening rituals helps you handle the chaos. Begin your day with a few moments of quiet reflection, deep breathing, or meditation. In the evening, unwind with calming activities such as reading, gentle stretching, or a gratitude practice.

Mindful Travel. Travel is also a considerable part of the holiday season. Flight delays and cancellations are a thing. If you'd like to travel commercially or privately, please be careful and intentional when choosing flights and travel times. Traveling takes you out of your comfort zone, and mindfulness helps manage the stress of it all.

Take a WUSAH When You Need To. Sometimes holidays can cause you to people too close to the sun (that's what I call it). You become overwhelmed with the activity, all the noise, and all the smiling and laughing that comes with peopling on that level. Take a moment away from the noise. Take some deep, cleansing, steading breaths. Trust me, it works.

Set Realistic Expectations. We all know that some of our families put the fun in dysfunction. Don't go expecting The Brady Bunch if you know your family is Meet the Klumps. Focus on the essence of the season—connection, joy, and Reflection—rather than getting caught up in the pursuit of a flawless celebration.

We at the Star of Zion pray that this holiday season will remind us of the bounteous blessings that are ours because we have put our faith in the One who always causes us to triumph. Happy Holidays.